Saturday, March 17, 2012
Mulligan Stew!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
"Is She A Mongoloid?"
So yesterday after Aaron's eye dr appt I ran a few more errands, one of them being a quick trip to KMart. Amelia was sitting in the cart, and as we turned down the shampoo aisle a woman smiled at her. A moment later she asked me how old she was, and I told her that she's two.
Then the lady asked me if my daughter was a mongoloid.
Just like that. "Is she a mongoloid?" Wha-? Um, (blink, blink) what? If you mean does she have Down syndrome, yes, she does.
"Yea, I thought she looked like a mongoloid. I have a cousin who's a mongoloid."
I know I stood there for a full 5 seconds with my mouth hanging open. This caught me very off guard and I had to think how to formulate a response. My first thought was, she's saying this so loudly. Right out loud, here in front of God and everybody. Insulting my little girl.
And she doesn't have a clue.
That's the thing. She truly, truly had no idea that what she was saying might be offensive. She went on to tell me about her cousin, whom she grew up next door to, how she loved him, helped him learn new words growing up, and how well he is doing today. I assumed she was speaking from another generation, until she mentioned her age -which is 3 years younger than me!
I wasn't even mad at her. The woman clearly didn't know any better. From her accent I could tell she probably wasn't a local woman, and based on the fact that I'd assumed she was at least 10 yrs older than me, she clearly hadn't had an easy life. No, I wasn't mad at her. Just sad to realize the depth of ignorance that's still out there. It made me think of the movie Precious, where the young mom names her daughter with DS, Mongo.
I see parents of kids with SNs get upset at others who don't use people-first language. And I fully understand where they're coming from. But I don't get bent out of shape, because I know a lot of the older generation grew up with terms like "Down syndrome child", And out of respect for that generation, I don't pretend to be the word police. I model people-first language, but if a person is being kind to my children, I don't get all up in their grill if they transpose the phraseology a bit. I look at their heart, and give them grace.
And I gave the KMart lady grace. In talking with her I could see that she truly adored Amelia, and was touched to hear of her adoption. I haven't lived that lady's life. And I don't think she had a very happy one. Blessed as I am, I'm not here to run her down because of simple ignorance. I guess I just wanted to share my utter surprise that a word like that was still in use.
That said, here are some pics of our littlest daughter, who just so happens to have Down syndrome...
These first 4 were taken during Dylan & Cait's visit home from England. Mimi loves her big brother & sister! :)
Kissing Dylan goodnight. And goodbye for awhile, since we don't know when he'll be able to come home on leave again. She's started sticking out her tongue to kiss people. And she wipes her mouth, as if they are the ones with the slobbery lips, instead of her. Once, it was so funny, Keegan or Aaron kissed her on top of the head and she wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand. Silly girl :)
This is what I saw when I walked into the tv room the other day. The little girl who took so long to learn to stand, now hates to sit down. How I love her.
Then the lady asked me if my daughter was a mongoloid.
Just like that. "Is she a mongoloid?" Wha-? Um, (blink, blink) what? If you mean does she have Down syndrome, yes, she does.
"Yea, I thought she looked like a mongoloid. I have a cousin who's a mongoloid."
I know I stood there for a full 5 seconds with my mouth hanging open. This caught me very off guard and I had to think how to formulate a response. My first thought was, she's saying this so loudly. Right out loud, here in front of God and everybody. Insulting my little girl.
And she doesn't have a clue.
That's the thing. She truly, truly had no idea that what she was saying might be offensive. She went on to tell me about her cousin, whom she grew up next door to, how she loved him, helped him learn new words growing up, and how well he is doing today. I assumed she was speaking from another generation, until she mentioned her age -which is 3 years younger than me!
I wasn't even mad at her. The woman clearly didn't know any better. From her accent I could tell she probably wasn't a local woman, and based on the fact that I'd assumed she was at least 10 yrs older than me, she clearly hadn't had an easy life. No, I wasn't mad at her. Just sad to realize the depth of ignorance that's still out there. It made me think of the movie Precious, where the young mom names her daughter with DS, Mongo.
I see parents of kids with SNs get upset at others who don't use people-first language. And I fully understand where they're coming from. But I don't get bent out of shape, because I know a lot of the older generation grew up with terms like "Down syndrome child", And out of respect for that generation, I don't pretend to be the word police. I model people-first language, but if a person is being kind to my children, I don't get all up in their grill if they transpose the phraseology a bit. I look at their heart, and give them grace.
And I gave the KMart lady grace. In talking with her I could see that she truly adored Amelia, and was touched to hear of her adoption. I haven't lived that lady's life. And I don't think she had a very happy one. Blessed as I am, I'm not here to run her down because of simple ignorance. I guess I just wanted to share my utter surprise that a word like that was still in use.
That said, here are some pics of our littlest daughter, who just so happens to have Down syndrome...
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Happy 19th Birthday, Hayden!
Last night we had a big dinner in honor of Hayden's 19th birthday. We had lots of company, including two of his best friends, his girlfriend Ashley, and her family. His request: pineapple chicken and banana bread. So I made a banana sheet cake for him.
I wish I had time to write the story of Hayden's life for you. He was born early. Due Feb 19th, but arrived on the 6th, impatient to get on with LIFE!. I remember how proud I was to have two beautiful little boys. And how I wondered what in the world the future would hold for our (then) little family.
I wish I had time to upload the videos of him growing up. Every time I watch them, tears run down my face. What a kind, gentle and curious little boy he always was. My heart is so full of memories of the little boy that he was.
I wish I had time to tell you how he puts his whole heart into a thing. If he's going to do something, he's going to do it right. He's got high standards for himself, and he expects the same from others. I see so much of his dad in him!
Nineteen years ago I was holding a baby boy in my arms and today he's in Williamsport taking his ASVABs, hoping to go into the Air Force and later become a state trooper. If I know Hayden, he'll give it 110%.
I wish I had time. Just a little more time. To hold the boy he used to be. People love to tell you they grow up fast, and I took that to heart since the day each of them were placed into my arms. I believed the years would go by in the blink of an eye. So, I did look close while they were growing up. I paid attention to every little thing about them. Their eyelashes and their freckles. Because even as a young mom, I knew that someday I'd be here today, looking back on it from the other side. A not-as-young mom, watching them become men.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Our Yard is Fixed!
No one will care about this except me, but I wanted to document it for posterity because it's one of the times in life when things just turn out right.
With all the flooding we had back in the fall, the creek beside our house ate a big chunk of our yard beside the driveway. I wish it had occurred to me to take a pic of what it looked like, but who thinks of that stuff. But trust me, it wasn't pretty!
So, we were glad when a contractor came to our door the day after New Year's and said they were contracted by PennDot to repair it. Morgan showed him where our yard had been, and was assured they would reestablish our yard and reinforce the creek bank with armor rock.
The next day they spent the day working on it. The boys loved watching them out the window as they dumped load after load of boulders in our yard.
I couldn't see what they were doing from the house, and should have gone out and looked. Because when Morgan got home he freaked at what he saw...
The hole in our yard wasn't repaired at all, they just lined it with rock! It looked awful!
So we started making calls. I'll spare you the details, but it was a HUGE run around. If you've ever been given the run-around you know just what I mean. It didn't look like we were going to get anywhere... I felt sick thinking this is what we'd be stuck looking at forever. It was going to kill the value of our home.
Then I thought of someone.
Remember when our passports were stolen the night before we were to leave for Ukraine to meet P, J, & A? Our state representative, Matthew Baker, had gotten the passport office in Philly to open up on a Saturday and issue us new ones the very next day!
I decided to contact him again, since PennDot had used tax payer dollars to create this riprap masterpiece. He forwarded my photos to the state engineer, and the NEXT DAY Morgan got a call at work that it would be taken care of!
And today, just a week later...it's FIXED!!!
Incase you were wondering, the weird green, manna-looking stuff is hydroseed (to grow grass) that they had put on the yard when the job was first "done". They're having someone come back and do the pretty new fixed yard soon. I can't wait to post an update in the spring! :) I love my yard.
With all the flooding we had back in the fall, the creek beside our house ate a big chunk of our yard beside the driveway. I wish it had occurred to me to take a pic of what it looked like, but who thinks of that stuff. But trust me, it wasn't pretty!
So, we were glad when a contractor came to our door the day after New Year's and said they were contracted by PennDot to repair it. Morgan showed him where our yard had been, and was assured they would reestablish our yard and reinforce the creek bank with armor rock.
The next day they spent the day working on it. The boys loved watching them out the window as they dumped load after load of boulders in our yard.
I couldn't see what they were doing from the house, and should have gone out and looked. Because when Morgan got home he freaked at what he saw...
So we started making calls. I'll spare you the details, but it was a HUGE run around. If you've ever been given the run-around you know just what I mean. It didn't look like we were going to get anywhere... I felt sick thinking this is what we'd be stuck looking at forever. It was going to kill the value of our home.
Then I thought of someone.
Remember when our passports were stolen the night before we were to leave for Ukraine to meet P, J, & A? Our state representative, Matthew Baker, had gotten the passport office in Philly to open up on a Saturday and issue us new ones the very next day!
I decided to contact him again, since PennDot had used tax payer dollars to create this riprap masterpiece. He forwarded my photos to the state engineer, and the NEXT DAY Morgan got a call at work that it would be taken care of!
And today, just a week later...it's FIXED!!!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Meet Victoria & Lauren!
I just signed on to advocate for these two beautiful little girls. I realize to some they're just 2 little girls in a sea of little girls and boys who are waiting in orphanages and institutions... but now they're MY little "other angels" to pray for, fund-raise for, and share about. My hope and prayer is to help get enough money into their grant funds that a family will be encouraged to take that next step toward bringing them home for good! Please join me. PRAY for Lauren & Victoria, SHARE about them, GIVE generously! They deserve to have a LIFE, a real life, outside the walls of an institution, a chance to WALK for pete's sake! Shriners will help these girls for FREE! They both have SO MUCH potential! But they have no voice to reach out and ask for help, all they have are their smiles... which I think are pretty persuasive, don't you?? :)
To give, please click on the donate button in each girl's profile. And to learn more about how you (yes, YOU!) can adopt, visit Reece's Rainbow. Please share this with your friends on Facebook, your church, etc. God has big plans for His little daughters! :)
Lauren
Girl, Born January 22, 2002
Lauren says "HI Mama!! I'm here waiting for you!" (in this photo she is riding a rocking horse!)
Lauren is a super-sweet and active little girl. She is very social and affectionate, and will do well in a family setting.
From her medical records: achondroplasia
As with all children living in these difficult conditions, this child's cognitive development has regressed significantly since he/she was younger. It is of crucial importance that any family considering the adoption of an older child from the mental institution setting be well prepared for what to expect with regards to how the neglect and lack of adequate medical care and nourishment has affected this child. These children all have TREMENDOUS potential for improvement, and deserve to have a life outside these four walls.
These children are truly living on borrowed time, and families should be home study approved before an official commitment can be made for this child.
Girl, Born December 12, 2002
I can't wait to see Victoria with long, flowing hair!
Miss Victoria was born arthrogryposis, which only appears to affect her legs/feet. She has a glowing personality and is a caregiver favorite. Will be wonderful to see her, after surgery and therapy, walking on her own!! If she is not adopted, she will spend the rest of her life bedridden.
From her medical records: congenitalarthrogryposis, divergent squint.
From our facilitator: Victoria is happy and affectionate. She loves to play with her dolls and to pretend to be mommy. She is a very pretty girl. She is a rather smart girl, the care-givers love her. She cannot support herself and needs assistance. She does not walk but she is a very active girl. She is moving herself somehow, using mostly her hands.
As with all children living in these difficult conditions, this child's cognitive development has regressed significantly since he/she was younger. It is of crucial importance that any family considering the adoption of an older child from the mental institution setting be well prepared for what to expect with regards to how the neglect and lack of adequate medical care and nourishment has affected this child. These children all have TREMENDOUS potential for improvement, and deserve to have a life outside these four walls.
These children are truly living on borrowed time, and families should be home study approved before an official commitment can be made for this child.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Hannie's Little Party
Since Johanna's birthday fell on a Wednesday, we waited til the weekend to have a little party for her. Nothing fancy, the kids were already in their pj's since we waited for Babushka to get home from work.
Earlier that day, Morgan and Keegan stopped to pick up her cake. Keegan even handed the lady the note I'd sent that said, 'Happy 4th Birthday Johanna'. But we still got 'Johnna'. The lady even asked Keegan if the cake was for a boy or a girl. That in itself should have been a clue... Oh well, the birthday girl didn't mind. And it made me smile b/c I'm in love with the book "Cake Wrecks".
Hannie looked very proud to have this pizza in her honor.
Blowing out her candles...
She said "Did it!" and signed "Great!"
Jessa making sure they're good and out.
This sweet little book was written by a Reece's Rainbow mommy named Rachelle Evensen! She and her husband Derek are in the middle of adopting 2 beautiful boys, Gideon and Micah (formerly Eddie & Edwin on RR). These little boys were transferred to an institution together over a year ago. They've waited so long for a family to come for them! I hope you'll visit the Evensen's blog, pray for them, sew into their adoption. I can't wait to see these boys enjoy their first birthdays at home with a loving family!
Keegan gave Hannie a Justin Beiber CD. Jane Daulton, if you're reading this he said it was because of Emily and how much she loved her CD's and took them everywhere. He said Johanna needed to get started on her music collection! ;) She was pretty happy, even tho she had no idea who Justin Beiber is.
And what is this??
A BIG baby!
Jessa is reading Finn's Marching Band with Daddy.
Mimi reading with Babushka...
Earlier that day, Morgan and Keegan stopped to pick up her cake. Keegan even handed the lady the note I'd sent that said, 'Happy 4th Birthday Johanna'. But we still got 'Johnna'. The lady even asked Keegan if the cake was for a boy or a girl. That in itself should have been a clue... Oh well, the birthday girl didn't mind. And it made me smile b/c I'm in love with the book "Cake Wrecks".
Keegan went and picked up the pizza and wings. Jessa was VERY happy to see him!
Hannie looked very proud to have this pizza in her honor.
Then it was cake time. Do you think she's excited??
Blowing out her candles...
She said "Did it!" and signed "Great!"
Jessa making sure they're good and out.
Time to open presents...
Keegan gave Hannie a Justin Beiber CD. Jane Daulton, if you're reading this he said it was because of Emily and how much she loved her CD's and took them everywhere. He said Johanna needed to get started on her music collection! ;) She was pretty happy, even tho she had no idea who Justin Beiber is.
And what is this??
A BIG baby! Checking out some new coloring books... Gavin loves to color, and has been putting these to good use since Johanna got them. She doesn't mind sharing (usually.)
She even shares Big Baby with Peyton ;)
Jessa is reading Finn's Marching Band with Daddy.
Mimi reading with Babushka...
Had to share this one. Hayden would kill me, except... he doesn't read my blog ;)
He'd just finished a 20+ hour shift cleaning frac tanks. But he made it to Johanna's birthday party. Did I tell ya she was his favorite? ;)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Johanna's Story
Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark brown eyes that disappear when she smiles.
That song took on a new meaning for me when I met Johanna Cait. Her name then was Lesia Shandrovska, and she lived 4000 miles away, in the same orphanage as three little ones we'd gone there to adopt.
I'd seen her face before, even had her pictures on my hard drive at home, but I didn't realize it yet. Only God knew the plans He had in store for Lesia and our family.
A lot of you know the story of how Johanna came into our life, but I'm going to tell it again once more, since today is her 4th birthday. Her first real birthday. Next year when she's 5 I'll just put a link to this post, because I'm sure I'll have a lot more remarkable things to share about the year ahead with this AMAZING little chick! :)
Like most people, Johanna's story began in a hospital. And like most babies born with Down syndrome in Eastern Europe, it was the last place she would see her biological mother. I don't know anything about her birthmom except that she left her baby girl due to "characteristics of Down syndrome", and soon after signed paperwork allowing her daughter to become a ward of the state and free for adoption, domestic or international. She soon went to a baby house where she had surgery to repair her heart. This would be her home for the next 3 years. That's the director, Dr Alexander, aka "Dr Sasha", holding her in the pictures above. He's a kind and gentle man, and truly loves the children under his care.
About 2 years ago Mandy Rohrer made my day by sending me 15 pictures of a baby girl she met while visiting an orphanage in Kiev. At the time we were adopting a little girl the same age with Down syndrome, and she looked so much like the 2 pics we had of Jessa, we were sure it was her.
We didn't even know about Johanna at the time. But when we found out there was another little girl with Ds just 6 months older at the orphanage, we realized the pics weren't Jessa after all, but this little mystery girl.
We had NO IDEA that once we adopted Jessa (and Amelia, and Peyton) we'd turn around and go back for this little muffin as well. Having these baby pictures of her on my computer was the icing on the cake!
These are pics of Johanna with 2 women who visited the orphanage on a mission trip with Mandy. The other baby they're holding is Micah Ray, I believe. They were in the same groupa until going home with their new mommies within hours of each other last summer.
This was the next picture of her I would receive... from Michelle Zoromski when they went to meet Lilya. We were still thinking this was Jessa. I remember Michelle describing her as a bouncing ball of sunshine! :0)
She'd break my heart by reaching for us and crying when we'd take Peyton off to play. She so badly wanted somebody to play with her, too! Most of her days were spent in one of the raised wooden playpens outside, leaning over the rail, lonely and bored.
I remember watching her in the stroller one day as they rolled her past a cat that was sunning itself on the window sill. I'll never forget her sweet smile as she waved hello to that kitty with her chubby little fingers. That was the moment she stole my heart for good.... there was so much inside this little girl. So much love waiting to be shared, but no one to share it with. I think I blogged back then how I could feel love welling up in my heart, like God was telling me This is your daughter. Which, while I would have loved that, seemed ridiculous... impossible! We were already undertaking what felt like an astronomical task in adopting a baby and two toddlers. I had reeeally wanted a little girl and now I had two. How did I dare even think of being so greedy as to try for THREE?!? In my mind it was out of the question. But of course God knew better... After I went home, Dr Sasha's parting words, I will take good care of Lesia for you rang in my ears.
We talked about trying to go back for her. Remember our pact, Michelle? We couldn't stand to think of her not in one of our families. But after we came home with the 'Original Crew', and it didn't look like the Zoromski's would be going back either, we hoped someone we knew would adopt her.
I remember thinking how happy I'd be if she could only live in the same state as me...
Remember Peyton's shirt from the Buddy Walk that fall?
And ya'all know that we did end up taking the scary leap of faith and going back for Miss Pee Pants after all. How when we got back she was SO much bigger. And how her chest rattled with each breath. She wasn't quite the same little girl we remembered. But she was our girl now! :)
Within a couple of weeks of coming home, the big McDonald's arches smiles came back!
And the coughs and rattles went away. All the scratches and bruises from defending her reign as queen bee of the groupa healed. I loved washing her with Dove soap, conditioning her hair, lotioning her up. Smoothing away all the rough edges and letting her be the baby soft little girly girl she truly is.
She's a loving little mama to her babies. This one is her favorite. She'll twirl with Baby in her arms, then stop and ask, "More? Okay!" then twirl her some more. My heart about bursts with love when she does this! :)
.
Three days a week she and Jessa go to preschool. Yes, usually in matching outfits. I waited 20 years for little girls. Don't judge me.
I'll always be a little sad that I never got to hold that baby in the blue pajamas. And sad for the woman who carried her for 9 months only to leave the hospital empty-handed. I pray for peace and comfort for her today if she's thinking about her daughter, now my daughter. I know she must be...
I wish for Johanna's sake and ours that we didn't have to miss the beginning of her story... but I'm so grateful that God allowed us to be here for this part!
With dark brown eyes that disappear when she smiles.
That song took on a new meaning for me when I met Johanna Cait. Her name then was Lesia Shandrovska, and she lived 4000 miles away, in the same orphanage as three little ones we'd gone there to adopt.
I'd seen her face before, even had her pictures on my hard drive at home, but I didn't realize it yet. Only God knew the plans He had in store for Lesia and our family.
A lot of you know the story of how Johanna came into our life, but I'm going to tell it again once more, since today is her 4th birthday. Her first real birthday. Next year when she's 5 I'll just put a link to this post, because I'm sure I'll have a lot more remarkable things to share about the year ahead with this AMAZING little chick! :)
Like most people, Johanna's story began in a hospital. And like most babies born with Down syndrome in Eastern Europe, it was the last place she would see her biological mother. I don't know anything about her birthmom except that she left her baby girl due to "characteristics of Down syndrome", and soon after signed paperwork allowing her daughter to become a ward of the state and free for adoption, domestic or international. She soon went to a baby house where she had surgery to repair her heart. This would be her home for the next 3 years. That's the director, Dr Alexander, aka "Dr Sasha", holding her in the pictures above. He's a kind and gentle man, and truly loves the children under his care.
About 2 years ago Mandy Rohrer made my day by sending me 15 pictures of a baby girl she met while visiting an orphanage in Kiev. At the time we were adopting a little girl the same age with Down syndrome, and she looked so much like the 2 pics we had of Jessa, we were sure it was her.
We didn't even know about Johanna at the time. But when we found out there was another little girl with Ds just 6 months older at the orphanage, we realized the pics weren't Jessa after all, but this little mystery girl.
We had NO IDEA that once we adopted Jessa (and Amelia, and Peyton) we'd turn around and go back for this little muffin as well. Having these baby pictures of her on my computer was the icing on the cake!
These are pics of Johanna with 2 women who visited the orphanage on a mission trip with Mandy. The other baby they're holding is Micah Ray, I believe. They were in the same groupa until going home with their new mommies within hours of each other last summer.
This was the next picture of her I would receive... from Michelle Zoromski when they went to meet Lilya. We were still thinking this was Jessa. I remember Michelle describing her as a bouncing ball of sunshine! :0)
Later when we were there adopting "Real Jessa" we would see this little monkey
every day in Peyton's groupa. They looked like brother and sister,
but we had yet to imagine that they really would be someday.
She'd break my heart by reaching for us and crying when we'd take Peyton off to play. She so badly wanted somebody to play with her, too! Most of her days were spent in one of the raised wooden playpens outside, leaning over the rail, lonely and bored.
I remember watching her in the stroller one day as they rolled her past a cat that was sunning itself on the window sill. I'll never forget her sweet smile as she waved hello to that kitty with her chubby little fingers. That was the moment she stole my heart for good.... there was so much inside this little girl. So much love waiting to be shared, but no one to share it with. I think I blogged back then how I could feel love welling up in my heart, like God was telling me This is your daughter. Which, while I would have loved that, seemed ridiculous... impossible! We were already undertaking what felt like an astronomical task in adopting a baby and two toddlers. I had reeeally wanted a little girl and now I had two. How did I dare even think of being so greedy as to try for THREE?!? In my mind it was out of the question. But of course God knew better... After I went home, Dr Sasha's parting words, I will take good care of Lesia for you rang in my ears.
We talked about trying to go back for her. Remember our pact, Michelle? We couldn't stand to think of her not in one of our families. But after we came home with the 'Original Crew', and it didn't look like the Zoromski's would be going back either, we hoped someone we knew would adopt her.
I remember thinking how happy I'd be if she could only live in the same state as me...
Remember Peyton's shirt from the Buddy Walk that fall?
Within a couple of weeks of coming home, the big McDonald's arches smiles came back!
.
Three days a week she and Jessa go to preschool. Yes, usually in matching outfits. I waited 20 years for little girls. Don't judge me.
If you know Johanna, you know that elbow means she's about to get her dance on.
You know the one, where she trots around smacking her booty. I did not teach her this, she came home from the orphanage with that classy move. ;) All 3 girls also love ballet and will watch mesmerized, lifting their legs, and twirling with their hands above their heads. Then cheer for themselves and sign "pretty dancing"!
Every single morning when I wake her up she says, "School?" Then runs to the bathroom saying "Hurry, hurry! BUS!" A refreshing change after (what is it now, sixteen years??) of pokey boys who would (and have) gladly let that bus roll on by.... But I digress.
I'll always be a little sad that I never got to hold that baby in the blue pajamas. And sad for the woman who carried her for 9 months only to leave the hospital empty-handed. I pray for peace and comfort for her today if she's thinking about her daughter, now my daughter. I know she must be...
I wish for Johanna's sake and ours that we didn't have to miss the beginning of her story... but I'm so grateful that God allowed us to be here for this part!
We love you, Hannie!
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